| F E M A L E S | A N D | F I R S T | W O R L D | P R O B L E M S |

| F E M A L E S | A N D | F I R S T | W O R L D | P R O B L E M S |

| A R G H H H H H ! ! ! ! ! |

Ahhhhh!!
Ahhhhh!!

 

Girls,

We all have those moments when we just want to scream! And yes…in the midst of World War, Famine and the Anti-Christ, it may not seem like a big deal, but these are REAL mundane problems that we have  to deal with on a daily basis – which I think it is ridiculous that in the 2015 we are still struggling with these things.

Like hello!?!

Product, Clothing, MUA, designers??!! What is going on??

I’m sure its been long enough now for you to have all come up with a solution to these issues! I have tried to learn the best way to deal with these issues by choosing certain brands over others recently, but there will always be that underlying risk.

 

  • When that  N A I L  C H I P S

They are all perfectly even. Yes – e v e n . Tips nicely rounded (or straight, but I find that rounded tips are a lot stronger). And then boom. Everything crashes and falls, and explodes when that 5mm snap of nail goes flying in the air and you look down and melt into the realisation that the whole month of nail growth was a waste. ‘Cus now you have to cut them all off and start again.

It’s just too much.

 

  • When the  N A I L   S M U D G E S

I love my O.P.I nail varnishes and their quick dry selection, and even KIKO as they even have this top coat layer that gives it a perfect gloss finish as well as a quick dry. But let’s be real – when they say quick. It’s deceiving. I am a busy girl, and sitting still for 10 minutes when I anxiously look around to realise what I could be doing is just not an option.

You would think that in the midst of new discoveries such as gel tips, shellac, UV nails etc. that there would be a polish that just doesn’t even need to dry by now???!!

 

  • When the P O W D E R  B R E A K S

Uh oh. You’ve knocked it over again haven’t you? You look back and there it is. Only this time it has crumbled in pieces and its all over the floor and in-between the gaps in the tiles. Theres no going back now. There goes my Bobbi Brown setting powder that was full to the rim that I only bought a few days ago.

It’s just pure Evil *cries*

And that alcohol solving-trick. Nah. Unless you want your face to smell like ethanol and dry your skin out, I wouldn’t recommend it. Just go and buy a new set and leave it to Einstein Jr.

 

  • When the S H O R T S  fold and form a  G A P when you sit down.

Even if you have a booty like ‘Big Momma‘ this is still an issue.

You get those perfect shorts/trousers, try it on in store! Absolutely love it! Take it home and wear it out for the first time to a nice dinner. And then you sit down. And you feel this breeze on your back. Hmmm, I wonder what that is?

 

  • When the S T R I N G comes out

I think he sums the feeling up.

You have those really cut sweat pants/ tracksuits. Go for a nice run and then put them in the wash. The next thing you know you can’t find the string because it has been fully pulled out in the machine.

How am I supposed to put it back in!!!???

 

  • When the T U M M Y  B L O A T S  (after like one bite of  nothing. Nothing!!!)

That’s right Tyra, nothing, I haven’t eaten anything. I’m sorry.

You have those days when you eat absolutely anything and you look fine and feel great. But the day it actually matters, that important interview or casting that you want to go to, but you still want to have a good energy-filled meal without looking 3 months in; that’s when it happens.

That’s when your stomach cries out and pushes itself out. Then you have to spend half of your brain strength remembering to breathe in overtime you stand up.

Sigh

  • When the  E Y E L A S H E S  peel off the C O R N E R S

I have finally found a brand that doesn’t cause these problems for me. Their adhesives are so light yet they are so holding. And the lash wire is so flexible that there is no tension, which I think is the main reason most lashes start to peel off after a while.

Thank you, Ardell Lashes.

 

  • When the  N E W   T I G H T S   R I P  (from absolutely nothing -_-)

The correlation between both explains the significance of this problem

I didn’t do anything! I literally just touched the surface. With my palms. No nail contact, no sharp objects. Look away for one second and look back and there’s a massive ladder running down my leg. It is so frustrating.

But I think I have found my solution for this one:

Thank you, Fiore Tights for your anti-rip material.

 

  • When the  F O U N D A T I O N   C R E A S E S

No, sorry – no.

It doesn’t matter if your face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom and wrinkle-free, unless you’ve floated in a bucket of botox. Your face will move. When you smile and laugh and do everything possibly human, it will move. And so will that foundation. All over and up and around the place.

Spraying my face with Mac Pro-Longwear Setting Spray (the 300ml clear bottle) after my makeup has been applied really helps with this! But there is still some slight creasing.

Breakthrough needed here!!

 

  • When the  Z I P  gets  S T U C K

And you are on the bus and there’s no way out. And if you move your skirt is going to come busting open because the zip has buckled to one side and is not budging. Or even worse- as you walk down the street and you just feel it give at the back and slowly ride down and you have to frantically hide to see if anyone saw it happening.

It’s horrible.

 

  • When the  H A I R   F R I Z Z E S

Whyyy! I just spent 3 hours straightening you, adding all the Anti-Frizz products I could, and then one drop of rain magically reverses all of the above! Can’t it be the other way round??

 

I think I need to stop here. Because I am making myself very anxious.

the list goes on…

But hey – maybe its just part of the fun. Part of what makes us female and why we are so attentive to details because we’ve always had to face these problems head-on.

I don’t know which one of them is the worst for me but what I do know that when it happens again I will be reposting and reposting until some Einstein Junior decides to step up and come up with a hypothesis that will defy gravity and prevent these things from happening.

“Until then I guess.”

#MakesMeWantToScream

#ButWhyThough


T H I S | I S | M Y | B E A U T I F U L |

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Eni Maj

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